October 10, 2004

From Fr. Benedict for the Friar’s Website

I suddenly realized, on Monday of this week, that I had forgotten to send in my weekly report and meditation for the friar’s website. So many people tell me that they watch for these little write-ups that I felt quite guilty and upset. Unfortunately, I simply forgot it. Which brings up an interesting subject: What do you do when you forget things? People forget things for a variety of reasons. First of all, they may not care very much. But that is often the assumption that is made about forgetfulness. Frequently it is not true. People forget things because they have many other things to do, many other responsibilities and many other distractions. Immediately, when I had realized that I had forgotten, I felt guilty and then I thought about it, that there is no particular reason to feel guilty because I did not do it on purpose. I hope I remember that the next time someone forgets to do something for me.

The only one who doesn’t forget is God. Everybody else forgets. Sometimes we forget our injuries. Sometimes we forget our responsibilities. Sometimes we just forget what is amusing or helpful.

It is probably a good idea to make up your mind not to be forgetful, especially as you get older. One of the things that I have taken to do is writing down in a book all my responsibilities for the day. Then I can’t find the book because I forget where I put it. That is part of the problems of old age. And you know, since many of you are concerned about my health, I should tell you that I didn’t just get by a car, I got hit by a calendar. I am getting old and I am probably going to be forgetting more things. There are some things that are so basic to us that we cannot forget. For instance, all that God has done for us. All that others have done for us. All the blessings we have received in our lives. In times of struggle or crisis or disappointment, it’s so easy to forget, and it does not help us or anyone else when we forget those important aspects of life.

I don’t think there is a saint who is the patron saint of people who forget things or people who remember things, but there really should be. There should be people who we could pray to, that we don’t forget too much. Maybe I once knew who this person was, but now I forget. To forget is human. To forgive forgetfulness on the part of others is not only human be also very wise. Don’t turn forgetfulness on the part of someone else into hurt feelings. That may not be very sensible. Try to remember, and when you are forgotten bare with it with a smile. Believe me, they will remember you later on. The only time that forgetfulness is sinful is when it is done on purpose to humiliate or discourage a person. Other than that, it is a very human weakness we all have.
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