November 11, 2004

Nine out of ten exorcists surveyed agree that unforgiveness is the most common evil spirit. Such a poll doesn’t exist of course, but the spirit of unforgiveness does. Although we may feel on some level that holding a grudge against someone gives us some strange form of control over them, the reality is that such a grudge enslaves the one who hangs on to it. Even Hippocrates, the famous doctor who lived 5 centuries before Christ was born, said that unforgiveness was a kind of poison in the blood that is bad for one’s health. We might say today that it is a kind of bad cholesterol that blocks the free flow of grace and causes a hardening of the heart!

When Jesus tells us to forgive someone even seven times a day (Lk 17:4), Christians often ask “How?” In this instance He says to forgive when they repent seven times a day; but what if the offender hasn’t asked for forgiveness? To begin with, it is important to consider what forgiveness is. It isn’t simply a feeling. It certainly isn’t pretending that what was done wasn’t really wrong or hurtful. It requires a free act of our will and it also requires the grace to do something beyond our own power. Ultimately, forgiveness is a type of prayer. It is something that we must ask the Holy Spirit to do within us. No matter how deeply rooted in us resentment may seem, the Lord can cast that “mulberry tree” into the sea!

If we are able to pray for someone’s well-being and salvation, we are already on the road to forgiving them. If we are able to pray through and with Jesus “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing”, then we are truly on the path of freedom. It is because of this most powerful prayer that each of us experiences that letting go seven times a day.

Fr. Richard Roemer, CFR
Community Vicar, residing at St. Joseph Friary in Harlem
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