October 8, 2005
Front Door Ministry
The most interesting people come to our doors. For example, last week the doorbell rang at 6:05 AM, during communal recitation of Office of Readings. Being in the back of the chapel, I nominated myself Porter and went to the door. Upon opening it, I looked out – and then down. Kneeling – practically inside the door – was a woman, reeking of alcohol, crying, and screaming out, “I want to confess! I want to confess! I’m drunk! I’m drunk! I want to confess!” Very quietly, I said, “Maybe you should come back a little later.” “No!” she cried. “Hmmm. How about I bring you a cup of coffee?” “Okay,” she said instantly. “Good. I’ll be back.” Soon I was back with the coffee and I convinced her to make herself comfortable on the front steps. Later, one of our priests went and spoke with her. (Whether or not she “confessed” I did not presume to ask.)
Some come with scams. After a few years of experience, though, such become fairly transparent. I remember the first time Manny (not his real name) came to the door. As soon as I looked out, he rushed up and hugged me, saying, “God bless you!” He was very thin, and very pale. Twitching violently and letting out spontaneous yelps, he told me he had Tourette’s Syndrome. And I could see that he surely did. Then he explained that he had been hospitalized in Yonkers, but now had to get back home to Mount Vernon. He wanted money for public transportation. I looked at him closely for a minute and then offered to drive him. He responded, “What! Brother, no! What are you talking about? Don’t you trust me? Brother, I can’t be in a tight space like that. I’m claustrophobic! I have Tourette’s!” I replied, “It’s a short ride. You’ll be fine.” “Why don’t you trust me?” he asked. “I do trust you. Wait here, I’ll be back with the keys.” I went back inside and gave him a minute or two to leave with dignity. I looked outside and he was gone. (Incidentally, don’t try this at home unless, first, you have others with you for safety and, second, you are actually willing to make the drive; more than one has taken me up on the offer!!)
Also just this last week, I opened the door to a youngish looking man. As soon as I saw him, I turned into a big knot of impatience. He asked in a quiet, slow voice for one of the brothers. But the brother wasn’t home. He asked for another. No, he wasn’t home either. “Can I help you?” I asked reluctantly. As he spoke, I began to realize that he was a man with a lot of pain; and though not entirely uneducated – simple. “I came to ask the Brother to pray with me,” he explained in sincere humility. He had received some kind of official reprimand at the supermarket where he worked as a result of a verbal altercation he had had with a co-worker. He was scared he was going to lose his job. He had no family and lived in a quasi-homeless shelter. He was 38 years old and had known Fr. Benedict from the group home, Children’s Village, twenty-five years earlier. He just wanted to pray. That’s all.
Front door ministry, like most of the stuff of daily life, is difficult for many reasons. For example, it is never invited, but spontaneous. And it always seems to be at the worst times. Also, it becomes difficult to resist cynicism in the face of so many scams. But in all cases, the goal is to sincerely love whoever is in front of you (especially those who are dishonest). We should aspire to love so greatly that we do not let our own personal hurt get in the way of upholding the intrinsic dignity of the person. We aim to show patience and attention, while admittedly avoiding the support of someone’s vices. It is a delicate balance, and there will always be gray area; though it is Jesus in disguise that is coming into our lives in the most ordinary circumstances of everyday living. Sometimes his timing is terrible and often he even smells bad. Other times he is rude and tries to cheat you. But always he will afterwards say of our response, “You did it to me” (Matthew 25:40).
Br. Solanus Benfatti, CFR
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