November 7, 2005
The Lord gives us a firm warning against scandal in today’s Gospel (Lk 17:1-6). Then He gives us the threefold admonition: “Be on your guard. If your brother does wrong correct him; if he repents, forgive him,” even seven times a day. If we see one of our brothers or sisters doing anything harmful or scandalous to themselves or others, it is indeed an act of charity to correct them. But the manner in which we do can be harmful if it is not done with charity and a bit of tact. It is helpful to keep in mind, therefore, some general principles for fraternal correction.
First, usually it is not helpful to make a correction when we are in an angry state. Often this leads to saying something extreme that we later regret. It sounds like an aggressive or violent act in return, and who wants to listen to someone who is attacking them? Better to speak after we have cooled down a bit. Also it is better to speak before it reaches the boiling point.
Second, it ought to be a matter worthy of correction, something significant. We need to choose our battles. If we are in a habit of correcting every little mistake, then those whom we live with will develop a selective loss of hearing to what we are saying – even if it is a weighty matter.
Third, we really need to examine our motivation. Am I correcting someone to look like I know better, to simply get my own way, or to get revenge for something else? If we feel a reluctance to say something, there is probably a better chance that we are acting out of charity rather than anger. Admittedly, our motivation is easier to discern if we are correcting something that was done to someone else rather than to ourselves.
Fourth, we are not to make a judgment upon someone’s motivation for doing what they did. It is important to presume a good motivation and to realize that people (including ourselves) often do not realize how they are hurting someone else. It is also true that our responsibility to offer fraternal correction is lessened if it is clear that a person is incapable of changing or really understanding what they did.
These principles are time-tested, clearly articulated since at least the medieval scholastica. Although every situation, every relationship, every person has a uniqueness about them, it is amazing how little human nature changes over the ages.
After speaking the truth in love by fraternal correction, the next step our Lord speaks of is essential if we are to live in freedom and “fraternal correctness”. We must be willing to forgive.
Fr. Richard Roemer, CFR
_________________________________________________
www.franciscanfriars.com
comments: fromthefriars@
franciscanfriars.com
