November 8, 2005
I was recently asked by a friend to offer some thoughts about death, in particular, an untimely death of a young person. She knows a mother of a young marine who lost his life in combat. After a year, the mother is still struggling spiritually, finding herself assailed by an invisible whirlwind of questions like, “Why did God ignore my constant prayers for my son?”, “Why should I ever pray for the safety of any of my kids again – or for anything else for that matter?”
As I offer this reflection, my heart goes out to many who are mourning the death of loved ones, but particularly parents who lose their children to illness, accident, or war. In fact, just recently a mother approached me with eyes brimming with tears. She grabbed my hands and said, “Father, please pray for my son, Michael. He has recently discovered he has inoperable cancer. He has a beautiful wife and a small child.” I could see she was a woman of deep faith, yet while faith offers every hope, it doesn’t provide every answer. I can only imagine that she pleaded with God, as I would if I had a sick child – “I’ve lived my life – why don’t you take me?”
No doubt, the most perplexing question known to mankind is this: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” In the Bible, it’s the story of Job which tackles this mystery, yet it does not pin down a clear answer. Some people believe suffering and death are “in the cards” or “When you’re time is up – it’s up”; therefore, they say that no amount of prayers can change what is already determined. However, the fact is they are trying to stuff something quite big into a very small box. How the always perfect will of God and the often imperfect free will of man interact is a big mystery that the human mind cannot fully grasp. The 38 th Chapter of the Book of Job, perhaps the Bible’s most beautiful chapter, offers us no easy answers – at least outside of faith.
In the story of Job, we read about his friends, “theologians” we might call them, who insist that Job must have offended God in some way – after all, why else would he be suffering? However, while these know-it-alls are defending the rights of God, God rejects their articulate but empty arguments. The friends of Job became the foes of God because they had the audacity to easily explain His mysterious will. To reduce the suffering or untimely death of a young person to some predetermined “fate”, or even worse, a punishment from God, is understandable, but very wrong. This isn’t my opinion – but God’s truth.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if the symbol of the Catholic faith was a snow white dove, delicate butterfly, or brilliant rainbow. But it’s not, thank God – rather, it is a cross, indeed a crucifix. Ever before our eyes, we see an innocent young man depicted either writhing in pain or hanging lifeless, slouched in the sleep of death. What brought Him to that place of pain and untimely death was not simply some “plan of God”, but the plan of wicked men that included pride, jealousy, fear, anger, and injustice. Blaming God for man’s bad decisions is quite literally the height of injustice.
It is important for us to recall that the entire scenario of Our Lord’s passion extends itself even to our day. He hung on the cross for others who would one day cling to life on their hospital bed, with a mother helplessly standing by burdened with the weight of happy and tender memories now abruptly brought to an end. Yes, the death of an innocent young person not only appears to be unjust, it is unjust. Yet, we are told not simply by Job, but by Jesus Himself, that in the end the unbalanced scales of justice will be set perfectly straight – and forever!
Today, standing beside this grieving Marine mom who lost her son, is another mother. None but the two know the depth of pain that deeply pierces their heart like a sword. Yet while both bear the pain, one brings a promise, a promise that will be honored in eternity. Between the two there are no words, no answers or explanations, only an embrace – and for now, that’s enough.
Fr. Glenn Sudano, CFR
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