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Dear Father, The last time I wrote to you, you were not doing so well. Now, see He is using you to speak from His heart through yours to us in the Spirit! Our Lord always has surprises for us around every corner. Lots of times I forget this, and get kind of down. Life becomes a drag. And then, Boom! He gives me a wonderfully unexpected gift. You wrote about getting old. For me, this was a timely message. My mom is aging and sometimes it's hard because I miss the way she used to be. I try to lighten things up for her when she's down with humor. I see the years melt off her then. I even read that keeping a positive attitude helps you experience less frailty as you age. But other times, I find her difficult to deal with when she's upset or annoyed if I'm too tired or overwhelmed with my own problems. Then, I have to bite my tongue, swallow my feelings and try very hard to be kind, patient and respectful. I have to pray very hard then and offer it up actually as a little suffering of my own. That helps. If I don't do that, I'll think with annoyance sometimes that she is more self-centered now, yet now I see it's really me who is being self-centered. I'm more concerned with what I'm missing than how she must be feeling. And after reading your message, I've also realized that there are times when there is such a presence of peace around her that I never felt around her before when she was younger and busier. It must be Christ in her. He is close to her now because she needs Him more than ever, I guess, and maybe she has more time for Him now, I don't know. That's between them. All I know is that maybe that's one of the perks of being old. He's so very close to you. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write. You are so very dear. God love you and bless you greatly. - Linda,

To our beloved Father Ben: How "timely" is your latest letter to us ....I have been watching the slow, but sure, physical and mental changes effecting my own dear mother...Like a thief in the night, as it is written.....one day you wake up, and realize," I am old"....There was a picture, in today's newspaper of an elderly lady, at a tea party. The look in her eyes was "far
removed, from the situation." I could not help but wonder.."what was she thinking about ,at that moment"? Perhaps tea parties that she would partake as a child? Her look of "abandonment "was captivating to me! I shall cut the picture out and send it to the Friary ....A picture says a thousand words...Old age is not a curse..it is a "gift". The difficult task is to accept the gift, as it is ....imperfect, of course! Perhaps the worst part of old age is loneliness. You are, INDEED, very fortunate to enjoy the company of the many Friars and Sisters of the Renewal, in you "old age"! Father Ben, if anyone can write a book on "survival"....you are the man! We shall all wait in line to purchase it! Much Love and many Prayers, - Jacqueline, Western N. Y.

Thank you, Father Benedict, for your beautiful message today on growing "old". I turned 70 in April of this year and was not looking forward to it. I have always been in good health until recently. Part of the process? I too, have been impatient with old people and now am one of them and it dawns on me that I have slowed down and realize that I am not indispensable. Somewhere I have read that as we suffer we grow closer to God. I find comfort in knowing that I am now closer in going to God and there I will see my beloved son who died in 1993; My prayers continue for you in my daily rosary. Your friend, - Judy, (CA) PS. I talk to my Guardian angel all the time and thank God for this protection. She has a name although I know there is neither feminine or masculine gender, but it helps just to call her by name.

Dear Fr. Benedict - Once again your reflection of Sept. 24 on aging has spoken volumes to me. It is amazing how God does that. He reaches out to us in wonderful ways through you and your friars. This reflection speaks to me so powerfully because, in His infinite grace, He has led me to volunteer at a local nursing home. I have come to see these dear people with new eyes. They are so precious. My heart is so touched each time I have the privilege to visiting with them. It is a little frightening to realize that one day, if it is God's will, I also may find myself in their same situation. May God keep my heart open more and more to loving and treating with the highest respect and dignity all people, young and old, that He puts in my path until He calls me home to Him. My prayers are with you all. Your sister in Christ, - Michelle, SFO, Windsor, Ontario, Canada

Dear Fr. B.: I loved this column! I, too, am growing old - I also don't want to admit it, but do so to let others know I'm not dumb. God has been good to me, too, in that I'm able to be quite active for my 77 years. I was diagnosed with depression at about age 60. Before I realized what was happening to me, one night when I was very frustrated and angry, I went for a walk and shouted at God "what do you want of me, God?" Now, many years later, I know! He wants me to lead people to Him, promote his Faith, pray for others' needs (they are overwhelming), support our parish in little ways, help my family when they need me, and on and on. He has granted me very good health in the last 10 years and it's been a wonderful gift, which I've gladly shared with others less fortunate. You have always shared your whole self in many ways. Keep up the good work and don't give up! We need your inspiration! Our young people are particularly vulnerable in these days. - Dolores, Iowa

Thank you for writing this Father Benedict. We can all be more patient. Just today, I was listening to an older gentleman tell me about himself. He was repeating things about himself that he has told me a few times. I'm glad I had the patience to "listen" as long as I did. I wish my patience had not even crossed my mind. I wish I had listened longer. My, what work I have to do. That's why I appreciate your note. It teaches me the work I have left to do. Thank you Father Benedict. God Bless you. I love you. - James,

Dear Fr.Benedict, Thank you for your reflection on getting old. I just had my 74th birthday ... and oh my! how perfectly you have said it for all of us who are headed west. How I,too, regret my lack of patience with the elders in my life. My dear mother had a saying which does give me a lot to think about .."only the good die young."
I hope I can work off my debt by being good-humored and patient with those who have little or no patience with me. Well, I'll pray for you and do you pray for me and we'll stumble up Heaven's steps ... God willing. - Nona,

Dear Father Benedict, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on getting old Both my parents are still "with us" - thanks be to God - and both are elderly and ailing - God help us! Just this evening, by coincidence (and I don't believe in coincidence) I interrupted my mother saying her prayers....what a truly lovely moment. My parents and I are close, but we have never shared a prayer life, outside of attending Mass years ago (they are stay-at-homes these days). Your insights, together with what happened this evening, have already created a new patience within me. I have gotten to know you through Mother A's wonderful EWTN and have prayed for your recovery. I thank the dear Lord for giving you back to us! Love and more prayers! - Peggy,

Dear Father Benedict, Thanks for a superb message today about how to treat Jesus in His elderly conditions. The insights, reminders and call to gratitude for all we have received from the elderly in our lives or around us helps us to love Jesus in His elderly. God bless you! I thank God daily for your recovery and am still praying about your arm and shoulder. I hope they are being restored as I write this. Gratefully, - Mary,

Dear Father Benedict, Thank you for your September 26th column. How true your words are! I spend a lot of time caring for an elderly parent and am so aware of the limitations you spoke of. I think something important to remember is to pray to God for patience. It's so hard to face someone daily whose mind isn't clear and responds to the world in a bitter and negative way. I find it a great comfort to pray to God for strength to deal with this person and their limitations, and the patience to do so without complaining. It helps to make a difficult situation a little bit better. We are praying for your full recovery! - Tiffany, Monroe Michigan

Dear Father Benedict: Thank you for your beautiful page on getting old. I am 57 now, and really feel the difference from when I was 47, but you know, the nice thing about getting old is that you know what you have been through and hopefully know what is coming with a little more understanding. I am so happy that you are doing well, and look forward to your new show on EWTN. You are in my prayers, my friend, and although we may never meet here, I know we will meet in Heaven. You have helped me much! Kindest regards, - Annette,

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