June 22, 2007

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people were kinder to each other, if people were more appreciative and forgiving of each other, if people were more thoughtful? It’s true; people don’t always do the right thing and don’t always do things for the right reason. Yes, it’s true; it’s very easy to see the faults of others. It’s true that others fall short, but so do we.

Maybe the world would be a better place if we looked at ourselves more carefully. It’s true that we don’t always do the right thing and that we don’t always do things for the right reason. But, we always have some reason for what we do. And we always think, at least at the moment of decision, that we are doing the right thing.

Even if we can convince ourselves that we are doing the right thing for the right reasons, we cannot avoid the obvious truth that we do things that sometimes hurt others. Even if we are 100% right (and we never are), we nonetheless sometimes come across as offensive or wrong. Being aware of these two truths, (that we are not perfect and that others are sometimes hurt by what we say and do) helps us to be more understanding of others. They aren’t perfect either. Sometimes we are hurt by them despite the fact that they feel they are 100% right. With this awareness, maybe we can change ourselves and really make this a better world.

By recognizing our own shortcomings, we begin to weed out the lie of pride which separates us from others by making us think that we are better than someone else. It also helps us to forgive and accept others. Just as I may think that I am justified in doing what I do, others feel equally justified in doing what they do. In this sense, we are all the same. The person with whom you are angry, the person to whom you refuse to speak, the person toward whom you are holding a grudge, anyone with whom you have a conflict - all have a reason for acting as they did and all felt justified, at least at that moment, for what they did.

Perhaps we recognize that the person is acting out of weakness, fear or insecurity. But isn’t it true that we sometimes act out of weakness, fear or insecurity. I often do. Isn’t it also true that what annoys, aggravates or offends us in others is often the very thing that we ourselves harbor? If we dislike that fact that someone is bossy, isn’t there something in us that wants to be the boss? If we say that someone is manipulative, isn’t there something in us that is upset because the other person is interfering with our plans, i.e., our manipulation? If we say that someone is rude or condescending, isn’t there something in us that wants to feel superior to others? By looking at ourselves honestly we become more understanding and more accepting of others. After all, we can only control what we do. We can’t control what others do. So, let us strive to do what we can to make this a better world.

Peace and reconciliation will only come when we begin to see things from the other person’s perspective. Let us pray for the grace to honestly examine ourselves. Although we may ask ourselves whether we were right in any given situation, we will probably answer in the affirmative, as will the other person. The better question really is, “How did I come across; why was someone offended by what I did?” The ultimate question, the question with eternal value is, “How could I have spread the love and mercy of Jesus better?” Love triumphs over evil, evil that is in our own hearts and any evil that may be in the hearts of others. Love breaks down the barriers of self-righteousness and judgmentalism. Rather than justify and defend ourselves, let’s try (and it isn’t easy) to understand where the other person is coming from. By doing this in every situation, no matter how personally challenging it may be, we will come to know ourselves better and we will love others more. And this is how we make this world a better place, (see Matthew 7:1-5)

Peace and Blessings,

Br. Giuseppe Maria Siniscalchi, CFR

St. Joseph Friary, New York, NY

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