September 26, 2004

From Trinity Retreat
Getting Old

As I have been getting around a bit during my recovery, I have discovered that certain improvements are no longer possible. The reason for this has nothing to do with the fact that I got hit by a car; it has to do with the fact I got hit by a calendar. I realize now something I should have realized more clearly some time ago: I’m getting old. Not older, but old.
A number of my contemporaries in religious life are celebrating fiftieth jubilees, as I did four years ago, and other like anniversaries. Some priest friends are retiring at 75. All of sudden, we look up one day and age has crept up on us.
For the rest of you “kids” I have a piece of advice: Try to understand older people and their limitations. We cannot move as fast, we get a bit confused, we forget things, and our schedules get mixed up in our minds; and all of this is, if not normal, at least to be expected. It’s part of getting old.
We have a choice: we can decide not to get old, which can be a bit awesome, or decide to get old gracefully. The way to prepare for that is to be kind and understanding to older people. I have to confess with real repentance that I have in the past been impatient with older people, that I have not always understood their limitations, notwithstanding the fact that I always liked to work with older people. In fact, when I was a seminarian, I was in charge of doing practical nursing for the older brethren. I have always appreciated and enjoyed older people, but I haven’t been patient enough. More than that, I haven’t had an insight into their limitations. I’ve taken them for granted. We need help carrying packages; we need to be forgiven when we forget things; and we need both our physical and psychological shortcomings overlooked with a smile.
The vast majority of people reading this message will most likely get old. It’s one of the results of medical science. Some of us, like me, will get old unexpectedly, because I should have left some time ago, having been on the threshold of death at times even before my accident. But God keeps us around, sometimes into our nineties, sometimes beyond any real functioning of the powers we once had. This is when people need to be understood and appreciated and receive some gratitude for all they have done in the past. It’s wonderful to belong to a functioning religious order, because this is what happens. How many other people do not have this blessing? We should watch out for them and show them very special concern. Christ comes to us very often with gray hair and wrinkled skin. He comes to us in the old.

Fr. Benedict Groeschel

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