August 7, 2006
You Can’t Escape
For years and years I have tried to avoid the celebration of my birthday. First of all, once you pass twenty-five or so, it is a bit ominous because you realize that the sand is going through the hourglass. Being a preacher, I get too much applause anyway. Also, when you are on television, all sorts of people think you are the “cat’s pajamas;” so I always ducked the celebration of my biological survival and managed to keep it a secret.
Since my accident a couple of years ago I have been unable to escape effectively as I have done in the past. Usually I spent my birthday in Alaska or someplace in Europe on a pilgrimage. This year I unsuspectingly walked into a trap! It was bad enough in the morning when I preached on Long Island for the Lay Preachers at Kellenburg. I forgot it was my birthday and so it snuck up on me when they came in with a cake and candles.
Then the worst thing happened. I was doing my TV program when a dear friend, Dr. Alice Von Hildebrand, called in and wished me a happy birthday in front of two and a half million people! People from Kuwait to Slovakia and even in South America found out my dark secret. I was seventy-three. They all thought I was much older of course. When I returned home that evening, they had a cake and pizza for me, which was provided by Timothy, who divine providence sent to drive me around and help me in many ways.
The moral of the story is this: don’t try to hide your birthday—they’ll get even with you! I am praying now that next year everybody will forget. I don’t want to forget the birthday of my friends; I just want to forget my own!
Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR
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