October 13, 2006
(Part three of a three-part reflection)
Yesterday we spoke of the kinds of sin, and the need to confess mortal sin. Now, as for the venial sins, why does one “not have” to confess each and every one of those? Practically speaking, I don’t think we could always remember them all, and the Lord knows that. Also, technically speaking, if we are sincerely contrite, then receiving the Eucharist wipes these sins away. That is why we are called to remember our sinfulness during the Confiteor at the beginning of Mass pleading for mercy. But there is more to this question! The question of “having” to confess sins bespeaks a minimalist approach to the spiritual life. This is a set up for failure! Why? Because in the spiritual battle we have to fight sin in all its forms with all the tools available if we want to become the saints we are called to be. Confession is an awesome weapon in the fight for holiness. So let’s look at the reasons this tool is so effective.
Regular confession of venial sins, though strictly “not necessary,” does a couple of things. First, it practically makes me take inventory of myself, and recognize the sin patterns I have. If I’m serious about my spiritual growth this is absolutely necessary. If we are honest here, we know that we rarely take a good inventory of our sins in the few seconds we have at the beginning of Mass at the Confiteor. Secondly, the more contrite I am over the sins I confess, then the more open I am to receive the graces God wants to give me to overcome them. And, very importantly, for each particular sin I confess I receive a particular grace to combat that sin. Thus, confession is more than a bath for the soul; it is also a spiritual B-12 shot that gives it strength to fight against sin in the future. Taking an account of my failings, and sacramentally confessing them is crucial to overcoming them.
All this begs the question of how often one should go to confession. Let me first say, to be sure, that the annual “obligatory” confession is for spiritual sissies! NO MINIMALISM! Secondly, I have heard many say, “I’ve got no sins to confess.” Trust me; we all fall short in myriad ways. Sadly, one of the greatest poverties of our time is a loss of the sensitivity to sin. We are numb to it. Regular examinations of one’s conscience and confession will heighten one’s sensitivity to sins that are already there. “We are not most wicked when we are most conscious of our sins, but when we are not conscious of them. When we realize we are sinners, we see by better light. When we realize we are sick, we perceive the need of the Great Physician.” (Fulton Sheen, War Time Prayer Book) The closer a person draws himself out of the darkness and into the light of Jesus Christ, the more he will become aware of the filth all over him. A saint may be very close to the light, having been cleaned of the mud and filth of grave sins, but he will still be aghast at any bits of black lint he finds as he strives to be holy as our God is holy.
So how often should we go? Our Lady, at one of her apparition sites, said that if Catholics in the West would go to confession once a month the world would be transformed. She is right. So, if you want to fight well in the spiritual combat, a good rule of thumb is to go to confession from every two weeks to once a month. If you are in the religious life, once every week or two is best. This presumes, of course, that you are examining you conscience daily. A good daily examine will give anyone plenty of fodder for the confessional after a couple of weeks. Use the weapons of regular confession and the Eucharist as two of your most powerful weapons in the spiritual battle. So, no more minimalist approach to this or any sacrament! OK?
Practical tips on confession:
We need a few things for a valid confession. 1) You need to confess your sins (not the sins of your husband or neighbor.) If you have mortal ones, you have to confess them all. 2) You also need contrition for your sins, or to be sorry for them. 3) You need the intention to avoid the sins again. So for instance, it doesn’t help to confess using contraception if you intend to keep using it. It’s also an invalid confession if you have a grave sin that you know is a sin and you don’t confess it. 4) Finally you need absolution from the priest. If you bring the sins, the contrition, the intention to change, then the priest will joyfully give you the absolution and some appropriate penance.
Next is how to confess; as I said before, confession is like a visit to the doctor. So just as one gives and account of his ailments in an “as a matter of fact” way to a doctor, so too one should confess their sins. “I have a cough, my stomach aches, in the morning I have a fever….” “I was rebellious and I yelled at my mom. I’m vain in the way I spend so much time in front of the mirror, I got mad and used the Lord’s name in vain….” There is no need for lots of gory detail. There is also no need for shame. Shame is a thing the devil wants you to feel. He is “the accuser of the brethren,” after all. Shame has no place in a child of God. You are in confession to get cleaned up and healed, not to beat yourself up, or let the devil do so. We should feel remorse for our sins. This is different than shame. Remorse or contrition is regretting having offended God’s love for us. Remember also that it is God who moved your heart to go to confession in the first place. Thus, He is there already working on healing you. Open up and let Him do so.
Where to begin in confession? As one priest likes to say, “If you are going to clean out the garage, pull out the car first.” So, start with the big ones. If you have grave sins to confess, confess each kind of sin, such as fornication, murder, or missing Mass on Sunday. (Yes, the latter is a grave sin! Which, we can discuss at another time.) Also, give, as best you can, the number of times you committed each kind of grave sin. This is not for the idle curiosity of the priest. The priest needs to know the type of illness the soul has and its profundity. He also needs to know what he is forgiving, so be specific. This also allows him to give better counsel to the penitent. For instance, he would give different council to a person who fell into adultery once in all his married years, versus a man who was coming in to break a long-term habit of the same kind of sin. Also, if you forget a grave sin in confession but remember it later, do confess it the next time you go.
So, there are some practical tips on confession, that marvelous weapon in the spiritual battle. To beat the heart of darkness, we but have to draw nearer to the light, so get out there and fight, Soldier of Christ.
Fr. John Anthony Boughton, CFR
Convento San Serafin, Comayagua, Honduras
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