Just
after meeting friars from our community at a Youth 2000 and especially after
finishing college seminary with a solid foundation in philosophy, Latin,
and other seminary courses, I believed I was ready to become a priest with
the Friars of the Renewal.
However,
it was during novitiate as I was reading the lives of the Capuchin saints,
that I found myself gravitating toward the holy lay brothers. I wanted to
have their earthiness and their matter-of-factness. During this time I finally
put my nose to the grindstone.Though I had spent the previous 22 years avoiding
any type of manual labor, now I found that I even like hands on work. But,
most importantly, I realized that I didn't have the desire to be a priest.
I
once considered myself to be a worthy candidate for the priesthood, largely
because of my schooling. Now I share our Holy Father Francis' feeling of
utter unworthiness to be a priest. I also share with St Francis the desire
to give myself totally to the Lord as a Lesser Brother, evangelizing in
simple ways and serving the poor and our community.
Being a lay brother
also highlights our call to the religious life in community.
When people often ask, " Why don't you go all the way?", I tell them that
I plan on going all the way-all the way to the end of my life persevering
in the vocation God wants of me, which is to be a brother. Often they do
not see the need or value of a brother. They are unaware of how brothers
contribute to a stable infrastructure, helping the friary to be a place
of growth instead of mere survival, for the friars and the poor we serve.
I've seen my vocation
grow and change, from seed to sapling and so forth, from diocesan to religious
priest to lay brother. I'm deeply grateful to Jesus and Mary because I love
being a brother.
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